Are you ready? This is my confessional post. I don't want to be a lawyer. I don't want to be a doctor. I don't want to be an engineer, architect, accountant, computer scientist, mailman, soldier, or politician. I want to be a farmer.
At the end of this summer, I had about two weeks in which I spent most of the time sitting and thinking about the different issues in the world. I spent a day on abortion, a day on government, a day on stem cells, etc. At the end of the day, I felt that I had defined in my own head the problem better and come to a solution that I felt comfortable with. My solution, I felt, took into account the strongest and weakest arguments of both sides. I don't mean that each side would be happy with my conclusion, but no matter what argument I was presented with, I felt I had considered it and had an answer ready.
These last two paragraphs probably seem disjointed to you, so I am going to join them. If I were a farmer, I could contribute something to society by growing food. I would be helping others, and at the same time it is a lifestyle that does not require constant mental effort the way many of today's popular careers do. The two weeks this summer, I felt my mind opening up, and I felt I could see, comprehend, and analyze more deeply all of the great conundrums of human existence. That made me feel more alive.
Now I am back at school and while I still think, now it is about mootness and ripeness and other legal falsehoods that matter to less than 1% of the people in the world. I miss thinking about great things and I feel that it is a sign of the rest of my life. I fear that in choosing a profession which needs thought, I have relegated myself to a life of thinking little thoughts.